Archive for 2008

2008: Year in pictures…

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… set to a possibly recognisable tune (if you’re over 30).

Well, that’s pretty much that. Another year in the bag. Another geriatric notch on my sword.

I’ll keep on going with the help of the two great axioms that sustain me in hard times:

• When one door closes, another slams in your face
• Cheer up – it could be worse. And it soon will be

Posted on 26th December 2008
Under: Winter | 10 Comments »

Free, but at a cost

Last carrotsLooking pretty shabby now, but I’m still eating them. Just enough carrots left for Christmas day, with a bit of luck.

I also have BUCKETS of Jerusalem artichokes. Managed to shift some on to another unsuspecting relative, but I’m running out of outlets. The word is out: death by flatulence isn’t attractive, even when I’m giving them away.

Guess even the free things in life can sometimes be too expensive.

Posted on 22nd December 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Feeble hopes

Freshly dug earth on the allotmentIt’s almost looking shipshape now. Give me a few fine days over Christmas and I’ll be fully set for 2009.

I have a feeling the new year will be a good one. For gardening, if not for economics. We’ve had two stinkers in succession in the UK, so we must be about due a good summer. Surely?

Posted on 18th December 2008
Under: Winter | 8 Comments »

Reflection on the season of ill will

Water butt at the allotment

We got about 2 inches of rain in the last 24 hours. It’s lowered my morale, but raised the level in my summer water butt.

And of course, there’s Christmas to look forward to.

If there’s one thing worse than freezing cold, pissing rain, the credit crunch, the currency crash, inflation and deflation, it’s Christmas.

Message to Santa: Come down my chimney this Christmas and I’ll shoot your fat, red arse.

Posted on 14th December 2008
Under: Rants, Winter | 6 Comments »

It’s freezing, Inuit

Hippeastrum flower spikeIt’s been a week since I last posted. So you’d expect me to have been busy at the allotment, not photographing Hippeastra.

There’s tons to do there, after all; digging, weeding, manuring – even a bit of harvesting (parsnips, carrots and Jerusalem artichokes).

Sadly, though, I’ve done bugger-all. It’s not because I’ve been busy… although I have. Truth is, I’ve been too bloody lazy. The weather’s been so fiendishly cold that all I’ve wanted to do is eat and sleep.

There’s something about scraping ice off your car in the morning that puts you in a dim frame of mind for outdoor activities. It’s weather for eskimos, not gardeners.

Posted on 13th December 2008
Under: Winter | 2 Comments »

Parky in the park

Frosty morning in Bushey Park

The recent frosty mornings have been so beautiful.

I’m lucky enough to drive through Bushey Park in south west London on my journey to work. So I see deer every day. When it’s frosty, the statue in this circular lake is swathed in steamy clouds of blue-grey water vapour.

Wish I could take better photographs.

Posted on 5th December 2008
Under: Uncategorized, Winter | 2 Comments »

Time for another half?

New allotmentsOne of the new plot-holders has realised that the brambles will be back if the earth isn’t covered. Which is encouraging; perhaps (s)he knows a bit about gardening.

But it’s still the only plot that’s been marked out so far. And the only one to see a spade turned in anger.

Perhaps I should apply for another half plot? After all, the hours between midnight and 7am are under-used in my regular schedule.

And what with my cholesterol and fatty liver, I could do with the exercise.

Posted on 3rd December 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Plot in progress

Work in progress on the allotment

Finally got out on the allotment today. So at last I have something to blog about.

I aim to have all the manuring, clearing and digging finished by Christmas. That’s what a target is for; you know you’ll miss it, but it helps you point in the right direction.

So I’ll probably be roughly on schedule next season. In other words, doing the last frantic digging in early March.

Posted on 1st December 2008
Under: Winter | 3 Comments »

No gardening; just cat

Fat British ShorthairWanted to do some gardening today, but it’s pissing down as usual. If I set foot on the plot, I’d drown in mud like those poor bastards at Ypres.

So instead, I’m posting a picture of my beloved, overweight moggy. He was in a co-operative mood, and flashed me this obligingly winsome look at precisely the right moment.

It will be years before he poses again, so I thought I’d better make the most of it.

Posted on 30th November 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

You say tomato, I say bollocks

Last fuschia

I’m stuck indoors. Trying to decide how to write this post.

You see, I was going to admit to being too wet and wussy to freeze my arse off at the allotment. Then I realised that, to about half of you, this is gibberish. Translation: “I’m insufficiently masculine to freeze my ass off at the community garden.”

This is the trouble with an international web audience. If I mention my garden (Trans: back yard), some of you assume I’m the head groundsman at Kew.

Ditto aubergine (Trans: egg plant) and courgette (Trans: zucchini). If I publish a recipe involving either, one of you will phone me a doctor.

So I’m giving up. I’ll just flob out on the sofa (crash on the couch), crack a tinny (open a beer), let one rip (give vent to a flatulent impulse) and bash out another shed-load of bollocks (write a considerable quantity of, er, testicles).

You can work (figure) it out.

Posted on 22nd November 2008
Under: Rants, Uncategorized | 17 Comments »