Back in the shit

Manuring the beds It’s that time of year again. From now until Christmas, I’ll be pretty much covered in horseshit 24/7.

I try to ensure it stays on the allotment. But I daren’t carry passengers in the car during autumn, and I’m ashamed to admit that my bella figura at work has occasionally been compromised by an all-too-visible dangleberry clinging to my shirt.

Were I to wear my underpants outside my trousers and adopt a brown cape, I could slide seamlessly into an alter ego: ManureMan.

3 Responses to “Back in the shit”

  1. Mike Says:

    “Oh ManureMan, Thank Goodness You’ve Come…”

  2. Amanda Says:

    My kids thought it is highly amusing that I regularly read a blog by ‘Soilman’ and so they got designing a costume for you on the Hero Machine site. Unfortunately you can’t easily save the end results as an image, but if you go to the option to ‘Load a previously saved character’ and paste in the text below, you’ll see what they designed for you. Now I’ll have to get them on to the evil alter ego, ManureMan too!

    Super-HeroM-ArtistMale*Soilman*Skin:1,50,0,13,25,30,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Face:7,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Mask:6,0,100,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Beard:1,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Hair:4,0,30,0,50,80,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Helmet:1,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Shirt:4,0,40,30,72,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Overshirt:3,0,0,30,72,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Insignia:30,0,30,60,0,90,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Leggings:2,0,70,60,0,90,0,0,70,60,0,90,100;
    Overleggings:1,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Footwear:3,0,100,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Pants:1,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Belt:8,50,0,13,25,30,100,0,40,70,90,0,100;
    Coat:13,0,70,60,0,90,100,0,100,0,0,0,100;
    Gloves:4,0,70,60,0,90,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Weapon:1,75,0,0,0,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Back:3,0,40,30,72,0,100,75,0,0,0,0,100;
    Shield:4,0,40,30,72,0,0,75,0,0,0,0,100;#

  3. Soilman Says:

    Soilman looks suitably stern and eco-warriorish, Amanda. Very fitting. I can’t wait for the amusing Manureman. Does the programme allow you to paint a large turd on his chest, or am I being over-optimistic?