Soilman

Probably time to go public with a bigger-picture view of the plot. There’s a ton more at the back (about which more anon), but here’s half my ‘land’.

Verdict: OK. I guess.

What’s good: asparagus, carrots, peas.

What’s not: Potatoes. Slow growth this year, for reasons unknown. No spuds before mid-June, I fear.

I could bore for Britain on ‘what I’m growing at the plot’. God knows, dear Reader, the temptation to bludgeon you with plot-related trivia into a dribbling, catatonic stupor is a powerful one. I’ve only met a handful of you, so you’re mostly faceless victims of my Compulsive-Confession Allotment Disorder. It’s easy to abuse you.

But I know I mustn’t. You have lives and families. They need your sanity. And anyway, if I’m going to bore for Britain, I should really be boring about the toilet of bullshit, lies, greed, venality and hypocrisy that UK public life has become.

But relax: I won’t. At least, not today.