Soilman

I got an email the other day:

Hi,
The Independent on Sunday are looking to do a piece for National Allotment Week, and we’re interested in doing a few case studies on individuals who are willing to be photographed and interviewed about their allotment. If you or anyone you know if [sic] may be interested, it would be great if you could let me know, and pass on any contact details. Thanks a lot.
Rudy Cow
(Name changed to save writer’s blushes)

Emails like this turn up from time to time, and I’m flattered. Nice if someone notices what I say here.

But here’s the thing: I don’t need or want publicity. Honestly. I’ve seen my photo and byline in lights for 20 years. I don’t give the tiniest shit.

And I don’t want or need exposure or traffic: I do what I do on my allotment and on this blog because I love it, and because I genuinely want to help others. I don’t make (nor intend to make, nor could I make) a penny from it. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s God’s honest truth (Nurse! The straitjacket!).

So it was in a spirit of helpfulness (I didn’t want to do this) that I replied thus:

Rudy hi
Happy to do it provided you only use the name ‘Soilman’, and not my real name or precise location. No problem with photos. You can ring me on such-and-such number.
Cheers

Guess what? I never got a reply.

So here’s my comment on the matter.

First, to Rudy Cow (you know who you are): When you approach a total stranger for help, and they bother to reply (even more so if they come back with any kind of assistance), it’s the barest, tiniest act of courtesy to write back. Even if it’s just ‘thanks, but no thanks’.

To everyone else in the ‘veggie community’: If Rudy (email me privately to check real name) or anyone else from the Independent on Sunday approaches you asking to appear in any kind of vegetable growing piece, I suggest you say “No”. Or – better yet – “Fuck Off”.

To journalists everywhere: Angling for free content from contribs or punters? Try charm. If you can’t manage that, at least be polite. Or get the fuck out of my face.