Soilman

Another splendid example of His sense of humour: Took today off work to do some digging on the allotment, and was greeted with this.

It’s not just raining. It’s coming down in streams as thick as pencils. If I stood stark naked in the garden for five minutes wielding a loofah, I’d have a convincing shower (and my neighbour would have a convincing embolism).

So what to do? Well, I could rearrange my seed drawer. Or perhaps study the outside pebble-dash through the conservatory window.

But I won’t. Instead, I’ll flob on the sofa watching daytime TV, then burp and fart my way through an hour or two with YouTube. Then I’ll give up in despair and go back to work.

Jeez Louise.