Gherkins and Leeks

Salted gherkinsWell first the good news: I have more gherkins than I’ve ever had… ever. Tons of the buggers. More than 30 already, and they’re only just getting started. Wife is salting them furiously, but we still can’t keep up.

Now for bad news: I think I’m on course for a 100% crop failure.

It’s the leeks, the ones I put in so confidently a few weeks ago. Not only have they not grown, they’re now dying. Slowly.

Why? Haven’t a clue. It’s not anything obvious – I’ve checked all the major allium diseases. The buggers have just decided to cop it.

Which is depressing the hell out of me. Mostly because I know it’s my fault: if I’d been to the plot more often, I’d probably have caught it earlier – whatever it is – and been able to take remedial action.

But I couldn’t, because I have no time. It’s a refrain of my life. I do everything by schedule, snatching minutes here, seconds there.

Jeez, even in the khazi I’m usually crapping against the clock. Most of the time, I long to scream: “Just give me five minutes, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!”

12 Responses to “Gherkins and Leeks”

  1. Tanya walton Says:

    But I thought you said they couldn’t do any worse than last year??? surely this is worse?!?!?!

  2. allot of veg Says:

    Sorry to hear about your leeks, but in the nicest possible way good to hear that you have some failures. (I’m still smarting about my cauliflowers after your triumphant display.)

  3. Soilman Says:

    Tanya: You’re so right. This is far, far worse. It is yet another excellent example of God’s wicked sense of humour and the Nemesis that inevitably follows Hubris.

    Allot of veg: Oh, don’t worry – I have plentiful failures, too. This leek thing is becoming a problem, though; two years of failure in succession and I’m really scratching my head over what’s gone wrong.

  4. Rachael Says:

    Mother Nature likes to keep us on our toes, doesn’t she?!

  5. Jo Says:

    I can sympathise with you not having enough hours in the day to fit everything in. It sounds very familiar.
    Sorry to hear about your leeks, but well done with the gherkins. I’ve never grown gherkins before but I might give them a try next year as I really like them.

  6. vue jardin Says:

    Gherkins and Leeks are very good for health

  7. Suzanne Says:

    The phrase ‘do you also want to stick a broom up my **** and I’ll sweep the floors at the same time’ is used quite a lot in our house these days.

    Congrats on the gherkins – my deepest sympathy on your leeks

  8. Tanya walton Says:

    I think I will give gherkins a go next year too…I love them…raw, cooked, stir fried , pickled…they’re just great!!

    Don’t worry about the leeks too much soilman…you have a lovely crop of corn and I didn’t even get a shoot!!!

  9. Rampant_Weasel Says:

    be very careful crapping against the clock or u could end up with piles….ive had them and wouldnt wish them on anyone.
    bad news about the leeks there is no better winter staple for me, is it a water problem given the previous hot spell?

  10. Soilman Says:

    Hi Weasel

    You may well be right, but I did make an effort to water them regularly when I first put them in… so I’m genuinely baffled by it.

    Hey ho. You lose some, you lose some.

  11. simon Says:

    Sorry to hear about the leeks. I could only get audio on your quicktime video so it’s hard to tell where you might be going wrong but I’d suggest you try cutting the roots back but not the tops.

  12. Soilman Says:

    It’s really weird, Simon: I had outrageous success for three years doing what I always do… then this.

    I’m going on the hypothesis that it’s something to do with the weather; I did plant them out in that hot spell, and even though I watered a lot, it could be that they just didn’t fancy it.