Soilman’s self-help principles

asparagus_bedI have to face two cruel facts:

  1. I’m lazy
  2. I’m fat

Proof of the first: Since Christmas, I have completed but one task at the allotment – manuring the asparagus. That’s it. Sod all else. This is a dismal performance, even by my low winter standards.

Proof of the second: None of my trousers fit. Some don’t even come close.

So I have a plan. To counter the laziness issue, I plan to do… nothing. And my response to being a porker will be… nothing. Because the main thing, when you’re in the shit, is to Face Up To The Truth. Action can come later, if ever.

I feel so much better for tackling the problem head-on. See how some simple, home-spun philosophising can change your whole outlook? I tell you, I should bottle this stuff.

6 Responses to “Soilman’s self-help principles”

  1. Dave Says:

    I’ve heard so much about persisent herbicides that I’m wary about getting into the muck. Any views?

  2. Soilman Says:

    I think it’s easy to get over-paranoid about this kind of thing, Dave – and I speak as an organic allotmenteer.

    Remember that herbicides, pesticides and the like have been around for more than a century. And the ones being used only 20 years ago were a good deal more noxious and dangerous than those used today. We were all brought up eating food treated with them. If they were as lethal as some insist, average life expectancy would be falling, not rising.

    Any that may exist in horse manure will be tiny trace quantities – the harm from which must surely be outweighed by the fantastic benefit of manure as a soil-conditioner and fertiliser.

    We’re not very good at quantifying real risks in our complex technological world IMO. If you’ve ever been a smoker, even if only for a year or two, you will have done far, far more damage to your long-term health than you’ll ever do by eating vegetables from a manured allotment. And if you find that hard to compute, consider the risk you run each and every time you climb into a motorcar – by far the most dangerous thing you do every day unless you’re a sword-swallower.

  3. John Says:

    In the case of Aminopyralid the concern is more what it does to your vegetables.


  4. Soilman Says:

    Thanks for this, John. I heard about it last year, but dismissed it as a localised, unlikely-to-happen-to-me thing. Perhaps I judged too soon!

    Nobody on our allotment site has had this problem… that I’m aware of. Anybody out there had direct experience? Would be interested to hear from you.

  5. Cat Says:

    As I’m not near a farm, I buy it bagged from the local garden centre, its not very rotted, but soon breaks down in the soil.

    I also use dried chicken poo. Prefer using more natural methods than chemicals….better all round!

    Also use nasturcians as the sacrificial plant for the black fly et al. Just need to stop my dad from spraying the nasturcians….I’m catching on with this planting malarky mind!!

    I am also on porridge for brekky, pitta with humous for lunch and home made veg soup for tea….spot the diet there?! The joys of the New Year! Perk yourself up, you’re normally full of the joys of spring…. :o)

  6. altadenahiker Says:

    I defintely need to visit more often. Here I was flogging myself for an unending appetite, when all I had to do was admit to my winter fat and have another glass of wine.