Comments on: Scrooge’s Christmas crackers

By: Cazaux

Cazaux — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:11:48 +0000

That’s about it; add to that the mild inebriation during the day on company time and it hits the nail on the head. It will ensure a rekindled enthusiasm for this joyous pagan feasting period. You could also rebel and honour the old gods whom Christian Christmas was based upon

Why not dress in full toga on the big day, raise a glass to Isis goddess of nature then give thanks to Saturnalia the roman god of Agriculture for your bulbous sprouts, frost sweetened parsnips and deride his creation of the Rutabaga and why they grow so well when other more worthy veg fail.

For me the defining moment in time when Christian Christmas finally lost its way was the advent of Coca Cola’s very own Father Christmas. I wasn’t born then so this Christmas is the only one I know and how I love to mock it with humour – dark humour.

By: Soilman

Soilman — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:06:14 +0000

I realise I’ve been missing a whole world of Christmas enjoyment, Cazaux. The key, I now see, is to revel in the horror and do one’s utmost to derive amusement by subverting its complacent dogmas.

I can see a rich vein of black comedy in this, which is the first good thing about Christmas I’ve noticed in years.

Thanks!

By: Cazaux

Cazaux — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:56:56 +0000

I love christmas

My wife invites her family over from France for the festivities – I but tell them I have to work because my boss is a slavedriver.

I can do fvck all at work except surf the internet and go down the pub for half the day. Nobody gives a rats arse because they are either on holiday or in the pub with me. I get paid for this jolly and when everyone is back at work in January and the family have returned to France I take some time off.

Last year I got a David Hasselhoff “in pants” tshirt from my brother which he made me wear over christmas. I in turn got him a cheap sack and crack trimmer – he loved that buff felling. This year I went to Mexico on holiday and found him a lovely Mexican wrestlers mask which I will oblige him to wear during Christmas dinner. I look forward to his shitmas present more than anyones.

Christmas rules.

By: Matron

Matron — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:14:52 +0000

Three cheers for Soilman! I just abhor the frantic, panic of an atmosphere in the high street.. like everyone is going to starve because the shops will be closed for one day! Let me know when it is over!

By: Soilman

Soilman — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:01:50 +0000

Altadenahiker: Yeah, that’s the one. Heavy as a gold ingot, and slathered in inch-thick marzipan and royal icing. When archaeologists are sifting through the remains of our civilisation, Christmas fruit cakes will be the only pristine, intact objects they find.

Greenmantle: So right. Bloody Victorians screwed everything for us. Charles Dickens has to take some of the blame, to be fair.

By: Greenmantle

Greenmantle — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:13:15 +0000

I too utterly detest the “Season of Stupidity” as it is known in this house. It costs a fortune, you can’t go anywhere ‘cos everything is shut, and they put out all the unbearable, bland, artless old crap on TV that no one would watch at any other time… Not when they weren’t being held prisoner in their own home, or worse, by their own extended family.

For once though I don’t blame Gordon Brown. (I’m nothing if not a fair man, so I’ll give him one day off a year.) Nope, I blame Prince Albert and all his cronies with mutton chop whiskers.We have the Victorians to thank for inventing the modern concept of “Christmas” and thereby totally fucking up December for generations to come.

By: altadenahiker

altadenahiker — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:55:36 +0000

I assume your Christmas cake is equivalent to our famously foul fruitcake, in which case — yeah– you can trot the same ugly puppy out every year. It’s also a good way to get rid of unwanted guests.

By: Soilman

Soilman — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:45:35 +0000

Carrie: It’s a great plan… until you accidentally give something to the person who originally gave it to you

Tanya: Excellent plan. And that way, I stay young forever to boot. Unimprovable.

By: Tanya Walton

Tanya Walton — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:03:55 +0000

hey..you could just take photos of christmas this year and then simply put a photo album out for evermore…that would save time and money..LOL

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:57:40 +0000

I like to recycle christmas presents. Ones I don’t want/like go into a drawer only to be re-wrapped and handed on to someone else the next year, Now that saves a few quid. I hate christmas too, bah humbug!