Smallest onions in the world

small onionsI cunningly shot these to look bigger than they are. Then I remembered my blog’s mission: ruthless honesty.

So here’s the truth: they’re bloody tiny. Some are barely bigger than the sets I planted back in March. For scale, the wires on the rack are about 4cm apart.

Oddly, though (especially odd given my usual gloomy outlook on these things), I’m strangely nonchalant about this. In fact, it barely registers on my give-a-fuck-o-meter.

Because I have genuinely given up on this season, psychologically speaking.

15 Responses to “Smallest onions in the world”

  1. marmitetoasty Says:

    Well I to be honest cant complain, only had our lotty a little over 6 weeks and its growing like bloody triffids……. todays pickings were 3 big cucumbers 5 jolly courgettes, 2 globe courgettes enough gherkins to make a couple of jars of pickles….

    the butternut squashes are growing like crazy as are the tomatoes that have an abundance of fruit the peas and mauge tout are looking so healty as are the runners and dwaft beens the spuds are growing like they own the place and the swedes carrots and beets have a life of their own…….

    maybe I just got lucky, mine is certainly the most prolific lotty on the sight….. or maybe Im just a witch 🙂


  2. Simon Says:

    My onions from sets were arse. I have much more hope for the Bedfordshire Champions grown from seed. They look quite healthy and are the results of your recommendation way back for a category our gardening club competition (next month). Maybe it’s a sets versus seeds thing this year. We harvested 8 peas yesterday (two pods), so at least the onions weren’t alone in being miserable.

  3. Damo Says:

    My onions are rubbish too. I might have half a dozen that I can call onions, the rest are masquerading as shallots I think!

  4. Svetla Says:

    Dear S.,
    Cheer up, dude! Yes, gardening is tough, and many crops don’t make it. For example, after my zucchini and cucs died speedily (following the broccoli, onions, soya beans and flowers) I decided to make the best of it. I planted a second crop of peas and beans. Last week the rabbits mowed them neatly to an inch. My only great crops this year — tomatoes and hot peppers. I am giving them away to fellow allots, colleagues and neighbors.
    That’s garden life. Have some fun in the sun before the winter blues hit us.

  5. allotofveg Says:

    I feel your pain.
    This season is a write off (relatively speaking) for me too – and my onions were small.
    I blame the weather.

  6. Mal's Allotment Says:

    Well you should see my onions from seed…

    … they’re nearly as big a sets…

    ….perhaps they are leeks…..

    ….small ones!

  7. Julie Says:

    And I also (pretty much on the other side of the world) have very small onions grown carefully and organically started under lights, then to greenhouse, then to a lovingly prepared bed of last years finished compost, where they sat and waited for summer (or even spring) to start. And when it finally did it was instantly hot as Hades, and the tops started falling over just like that….ergo tiny onions (at least the ones the worms or black rot didn’t get) And if it’s the weather I’d suggest it’s affecting the entire planet

  8. Sharon Says:

    I must tell you that you make my failures in my veg garden bearable! Yours is the only blog I read that I can relate to and it is a Godsend to know I’m not out there fucking up alone! LOL Thank you for your honesty and your humour! You are a true gardener…keep sharing please!

  9. Soilman Says:

    Not a problem, Sharon. Fucking up comes naturally to me, so it seems a shame not to share my special gift with others. Thanks for kind words.

  10. Ruth Says:

    Mine are tiny too, took them all up this weekend. Some have hardly grown since they went in, so they’re a washout this year. At least I didn’t get bottom rot like a local gardener.

    So it’s not just you, my potatoes aren’t great either.

  11. Lucy @ Smallest Smallholding Says:

    My onions got bottom rot, despite hardly any rain 🙁 CRAP! Some were salvagable. Got them in an onion net hanging in my utility room. I’m just thinking ahead and hope that come autumn, my squashes will at least make up for this summer’s paltry offerings.

  12. The Idiot Gardener Says:

    I didn’t do onions this year; seems it was a wise choice. I’ll screw them up next year instead!

  13. allotment blogger Says:

    Ah! We didn’t grow onions this year, so we have no disappointment on that front. To join in the general honesty about crop failure, we did have:

    1. About as many first early potatoes to harvest as we planted – a chitted potato to harvest potato ratio of 1:1 – making each potato worth about thirty pence when you take in the compost and work hours too!
    2. No cucumbers. Not one. Not even a flower.

    I did get a good harvest of peas though. Sorry Soilman!

  14. Matron Says:

    So pickle them!

  15. Tilly Says:

    At least if they’re small no-one’s gonna bother to nick them – a few years ago my dad won the onion prize at a local show. He was saving the onions for the next show when some thieving miscreant broke into his allotment, jimmied the door to his greenhouse and nicked the onions!