Cats: How to keep their shit out of your garden
I’m taking a break from my own tedium today (you can only whinge so much for so long without getting bored yourself).
Instead of me moaning on, here’s an extended anti-cat whinge (or anti-cat-shit whinge, to be precise) from the redoubtable writer and broadcaster Emma Cooper, compere and creator of the Alternative Kitchen Garden. It’s a lot more interesting that anything I could write today… and you may even learn something.
Take it away, Emma:
“Cats. Small ones are cute. Larger ones can be when they want to be. They have claws though, so I’m not entirely sure why people encourage them to sit on their laps and think they make good pets. Personally I find them completely unlovable for one reason – they crap in my garden.
They don’t crap in the out-of-reach places where I wouldn’t notice the smell. They crap in the middle of the bloody beds. Why? Personally I like a little more privacy for my personal moments, but apparently dead centre in a nicely planted bed is best for crapping if you’re a cat. Never mind that you’ve had to trample over an entire army of seedlings to get there (and it will be the second army of seeds sown, since the first will have been wiped out by the inevitable slug invasion of early spring).
And once they’ve done it, they make these laughable attempts to cover it over – which do nothing to cover the crap, or mask the smell (why should it? They need the smell to find their toilet again tomorrow) but only serves to disturb more of the benighted plants.
Commercial cat deterrents work on one of two principles – scaring cats away with loud (ultrasonic) noises or persuading them to crap elsewhere by making the area in question smell worse than cat crap. The citrus-smelling stuff doesn’t smell too bad, although it does pong, but you can buy packets of crap from bigger cats (on the basis that moggies are shit scared of tigers) – which surely just misses the point? I mean, weeing around the edge of your plot is supposed to deter foxes, but who wants a garden that smells of stinky wee?
There is another problem with these deterrents – they don’t get rid of the cats. They move the cats on. When the batteries run out, or the smell wears off, they will be back. In the meantime they will still be crapping in your garden, but in areas outside the reach of the deterrents that they’d previously left in peace.
Having said that, I think we’ve found a solution. Chicken manure pellets smell really strongly, and their smell deters cats from shitting in your garden. You can spread them liberally all around, re-apply as necessary, and the only side effect is that next year your courgettes will be enormous. No more crapping, no more trampled seedlings, no more dug up plants.
Of course, your garden will still smell of shit….”
I think we can safely file that one under ‘rants’, Emma, and I hope everyone chips in with their solutions for dealing with cat shit in the garden or down the allotment…
PS Anyone got a pic of a cat shitting which I can use to illustrate this piece?
What a shitty subject
A lot of people in the US use moth balls but they dissolve too fast and aren’t very effective. There are also some gadgets that will shock or squeal so loud that it keeps them away. ?? Not much help, pretty shitty. LOL You know I couldn’t resist!
August 6th, 2010 at 5:36 am
Don’t folks in the UK have fences in their gardens? (I know, I know, typical American “build a fence” to keep out unwanted visitors). In my defense I have never had a cat drop a deuce in my plot. Though the fence only provides limited protection from what I’d really like it to keep out: rabbits, raccoons, opossums, deer, chipmunks, marmots, etc. Probably a truth about all fences somewhere in that statement.
August 6th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Good rant topic! Fortunately I don’t have a problem with cats, even next doors cat stays clear as every bed in the garden is full of chicken manure, you get used to the smell after a while and it’s good for the veg. I don’t have much time for them as allergic, and the dog helps deter when he’s awake, and it least he only craps on the lawn!
August 6th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
There’s a 6 ft fence along 3 sides of the garden. The cats can just about get over it, but we didn’t have much trouble with them until my elderly neighbour cut down his hedge on the 4th side and replaced it with a 5 ft fence which they have no trouble scaling.
August 6th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
I have had quite good results with moving the shit fast, if you leave it around they will just come back, and then sprinkling the area with chilli flakes to hide the smell.
The cats usually have a spot where they like to sit around and survey the scene, I imagine they are eying up suitable vantage points, so sprinkle chilli flakes over that too and they’ll probably get the message.
Crushed garlic is also very effective and a good way to use up all that excess garlic that you have because you stupidly bought the garlic lovers pack from T&M only to discover that you are more in the garlic liker but moderate user catagory.
Thankfully I don’t have any photos of shitting cats on my computer!
August 7th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Get a dog , lurchers are good , train it to poo outside your garden , clean up after it , dogs are easy to train .
Lurchers will kill cats ,cats will not come back , job done
August 7th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Do lurchers eat cats? Because that would certainly turn a waste product into a resource
Sadly there’s not enough room here for a big dog. We’re going to have one in the next house though 
August 8th, 2010 at 9:45 am
I often tune into your blog on Sunday mornings for some humor and am rarely disappointed. A catshit rant was just what this day needed to get it off the schneide, as it were.
While I don’t have a cat, the neighborhood furnishes several that are more than willing to foul certain areas of the yard. So far, they have stayed out of the garden, realizing perhaps that I have a small firearm and will not hesitate. My dog is old enough now that she misses most of the local interlopers and they are beginning to figure this out. I wonder if planting catnip outside the fence might work..
August 8th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Catnip attracts cats….pepper works to an extent…I have a cat who goes over the fields to do his business and is such a bully won’t let any other cats in the garden…he is much more effective than my boxer ever was who used to willingly let the cats in the garden so he wasn’t lonely…lol
As for fences…they are cats….they jump!! I quite often see cats on the roofs of bungalows!
August 10th, 2010 at 8:36 am
Learn to love your enemy. Get a cat of your own – a young neutered tom is ideal. He will crap in your neighbours’ gardens and keep other cats out of yours. Problem solved.
August 12th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Cat shit is the bane of my existance. My neighbours cats are so brazen that sometimes they don’t even bother with the beds and shit right in the middle of the lawn. I have 2 young children, so before they can go out to play I have to have a root around to see if there are any hidden surprises anywhere. Honestly I’ve thought about the ol’ “brake fluid” breakfast for them but don’t think I could live myself. Even speaking to the neighbours has not effect, not even after one of my other neighbours kindly bagged up the crap and handed it to the cats owner. In Ireland you’re respsonsible for your dogs poop but not your cats apparently…
Can’t remember where I read it, but dry out your old tea bags, and sprinkle them with anything strong (I used tea tree oil) and leave them where the cats do their business. That seemed to work for a while. The bags only seemed to smell for about a week though, so they need constant replacing.
August 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
We’ve just moved to our own house after some time renting and have discovered that it has been adopted by a cat, which enjoys nothing more than to curl up in a sheltered patch just by the entrance gate.
I hate it. It’s smug and supercilious, and doubtless wants to crap everywhere. But we have the solution – a two-year-old collie-lab cross called Mia, who I’m hoping will terrorise the cat away. Of course she will crap in the garden herself – but I’m fond of dogs and don’t mind too much, especially as I’m determined to scoop the poop assiduously…
August 20th, 2010 at 5:23 pm