Not tidy, not a tosser

Contents of my shedSome of you were sad enough to want to see my allotment shed.

Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. First, it’s not a shed – it’s a plastic dumpster (whose assembly you can watch in my foolish video). Second, it’s a bloody disgrace.

I don’t do tidy. Tidy’s for tedious tossers. Sorry, but there it is. Apologies to all the tedious tossers I count among my friends. I love you guys. I know it’s a sickness.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to be tidier. I would. It’s just that becoming so would require becoming a tedious tosser. And some prices are just too high to pay.

12 Responses to “Not tidy, not a tosser”

  1. Zeb Says:

    Guess I’m a tosser…
    If I need anything from the back of the shed, I need mountain climbing equipment to reach it

  2. Soilman Says:

    Au contraire, Zeb, sounds like you’re absolutely NOT a tosser….!

  3. Jo Says:

    That’s not what I was expecting, you can still see some ground space. You should see the state of mine.

  4. Soilman Says:

    Go for it, Jo. Post a picture. If it’s worse than mine, I gotta see it.

  5. Zeb Says:

    Au contraire back at you..
    I’m deffo a tosser, I just toss everything back in the shed when I’m finished with it.

  6. allotofveg Says:

    You posted yours now I’ve posted mine and I think it is fair to say that you are more of a to**er than I!

  7. Soilman Says:

    Yep, that’s definitely fair allotofveg…

  8. Simon Says:

    I can’t help noticing a lack of vital things like:
    crate of beer, camping stove for cups of tea, stash of biscuits, sort of broken deck chair et c. Where do you keep all that stuff?
    My shed is mainly full of broken roof extension and chicken wire at the moment, plus my small trophy for best root vegetables 2009 (ooh, I mentioned it again).

  9. Manor Stables Veg Plot Says:

    After my post the other week, my dad tidied our shed, so I must be a complete t*sser, but you know what, I’m/we’re only t*ssers cos ur jealous of the fact that we can reach in our shed and not spend 5 hours lost finding stuff.

    signed: A.T*sser, Castleford.

  10. Damo Says:

    How come I’ve got a garage full of crap and you can get by on a relatively small pile, tidy or oherwise? Must have loads of stuff I don’t need.

  11. Soilman Says:

    Simon:
    crate of beer – none, cos teetotal
    camping stove – had one, broke it
    stash of biscuits – scoffed the lot
    sort of broken deck chair – very broken, repatriated to garage (see below)

    Cat: All true. I’m jealous as hell.

    Damo: Fear not, I also have the garage full of crap. The ‘shed’ is just the need-it-all-the-time crap.

  12. Martyn Cox Says:

    An open air shed – how continental