Oh God: Jerusalem artichokes EVERY NIGHT

Jerusalemn artichokesI have so many Jerusalem artichokes I’m close to despair. This is just a fraction of the huge haul from Sunday’s Great Clearance Works.

Managed to foist a bagful on a luckless work colleague (thanks Celia!), but it’s like trying to bail out the Atlantic Ocean with a thimble.

I’m keeping quiet about the gastroentiritic side-effects, but the word seems to be out. “Fuck no, don’t eat them – you’ll fart to death,” was one colleague’s unhelpful advice to an artichoke virgin whom I’d cajoled to the brink of accepting some.

There’s nothing for it. I’ll just have to eat artichokes for a week, and nothing else. Wife’s away for 10 days from Sunday, so I can barricade the door, lay in stocks of air freshener and go for it.

14 Responses to “Oh God: Jerusalem artichokes EVERY NIGHT”

  1. Clare Says:

    We’ve been eating them for pretty much every night too – and no explosive effects so far. Sure, there has been some parumping, but nothing worse than we’d get eating a good curry or beans on toast.

    Arse-saving tip: pre-boil and discard the boiling water.

  2. Soilman Says:

    Top tip, Clare. Thanks. Will give it a whirl.

  3. The Idiot Gardener Says:

    I don’t care; when I balance the wind with the velvety taste, the taste wins. After all, farting doesn’t hurt you, and what do I care for other people’s sensibilities? I’ve planted 20 tubers and can’t wait for next winter!

  4. Jo Says:

    That made me laugh. I’ve never grown JA’s but whenever I bring the subject of them up to someone who has, that’s the response I get.

  5. Cazaux Says:

    Nice crop Soilman. I dont grow them but have been on the receiving end of these as gifts from plotholders too.

    Keep on eating them for ten days on the trot – I dare you – double dare you :o).

    Just like beans, after a few days your body will be used to them by building up digestive bacteria in your guts. The side effect are supposed to only last a day or two.

    The bacteria that build up are “healthy” and promote regular movement, so ensure you have wireless in your wc. But no twittering in there please.

    I love them chipped, sauted in olive oil and lemon zest. seasoned with a little salt and lemon juce at the end.

    And if you can’t get used to them – Don’t cook with gas or this may be the last we hear of you.

  6. carrie Says:

    I’m not affected by the excessive parping! I must be some kind of superhero – wow. We’re growing loads this year…so we’ll see if I develop a problem, ummm Science is fun!

  7. Damo Says:

    I’ve eaten my fair share this winter and it’s not that bad, I did give away a boxful though but they are so easy to grow I’ve put the same amount of tubers in this time round.

  8. Celia Says:

    What about leaving a large box of them outside your front garden, or entrance to the allotment, saying “Help Yourself.”
    Celia

  9. Freelance Unbound Says:

    Hey Soilman – I’ll take some of those tasty tubers off you. The digestive side effects hold no terror for me – they don’t just call me Freelance Unbound for my free and easy approach to work, you know…

  10. Matron Says:

    My hero!

  11. Tanya Walton Says:

    I’ve never even tried them…mmmmm????

  12. Soilman Says:

    Freelance Unbound: That was a seriously ill-judged comment. Coming your way, next week, is an ENORMOUS box of JAs….

  13. Dirty Girl Garden Says:

    Your colleague sounds sweet and very articulate. 🙂

    I’d eat the shit out of some j. artichokes!

    Pun intended.

  14. altadenahiker Says:

    I read about a mushroom cloud spotted somewhere near London.