Weeding, weeding, bloody weeding

I went to the plot tonight to water and ended up weeding for 45 mins. Again.

Which, given that I’ve done nothing but weed for weeks now, is remarkable. Thistles, in particular, blow my mind. One day, you have a batch of just-weeded, bare soil. Literally three days later, there’s a large thistle growing in it.

The worst bit is the sure and certain knowledge that by removing the thistle, you merely make space for its inevitable replacement. They come in battalions, and they never surrender.

Doubtless my gravestone will have a fucking great thistle engraved upon it. “RIP Soilman, you sad bastard: We got you in the end”.

20 Responses to “Weeding, weeding, bloody weeding”

  1. Mal's Allotment Says:

    Know what you mean…

    Do you “general” water or “point” water, SM?

  2. Amanda Says:

    Or, even more upsetting, your final resting place will become home to a whole load of real thistles, all feasting on your decomposing remains.

    Now, isn’t that a cheering thought? 😉

  3. Tanya Walton Says:

    lol on the headstone….I have spent a lot of time weeding too….I think it’s about time the bugs and dry weather affected the weeds and NOT the veggies…then maybe we could all live in harmony….fat chance!!!

  4. Amanda Says:

    I know the feeling; I’m an allotment newbie, 11 days in, and I’m noticing the same thing! Can I have a copy of your tombstone please? :o)

  5. Amy Says:

    Yesterday I managed to remove an entire trug full of bindweed roots from an apparently clear patch of soil! Dreading clearing the part where I can actually see the bindweed above ground!

    Still isn’t this all part of the fun? If it was as easy as buying them from the shop I bet you wouldn’t bother trying to grow them.

  6. Soilman Says:

    Mal: I wish I could ‘general’ water, but it’s difficult: only the over-60s are allowed to use a hosepipe on our allotment site. So I trawl up and down spot-irrigating with a watering can. Exhausting and time-consuming in this weather.

    Amanda: I enjoyed that cheerless thought. A woman after my own heart.

  7. Michaela Says:

    I hear you on the weedin. We had an attack of the dandelions and now the bloody sycamore next door has spawned enough offspring in my yard to create a mini forest. We gardeners spend our lives ass up in the air. I commiserate. Get yourself some good bath salts. 🙂 M

  8. Keith Says:

    I’m weeding 1 bed every night when I water so it’s a very circular method and one that never gives you the satisfaction of seeing a weedfree plot. But even if I could do it in one day, the bit I started in the morning would be back to the regular state of the Borneo jungle by the afternoon. However I have noticed that the beds I covered for the winter (6 months) with good quality sheeting are noticeably better.

  9. Julie Says:

    Soilman…I think you exaggerate 😉

  10. Soilman Says:

    But Julie, I don’t… I really don’t!!

  11. Mal's Allotment Says:

    “…only the over-60s are allowed to use a hosepipe on our allotment site. ”

    You’re havin a larf!

  12. Soilman Says:

    I know. It’s horrendous. But at least I have a reason to look forward to being 60…

  13. Ruth Says:

    It’s funny, I removed a load of baby thistles from my plot this week, but don’t know where they come from, there aren’t any nearby – do you think there is a weed fairy who goes around at night sprinkling weeds randomly?

  14. Freelance Unbound Says:

    Have you thought about hiring a retired gentleman to ‘accidentally’ water your plot with a hosepipe instead of his? If anyone challenges this, obviously he could blame OAP forgetfulness…

  15. Naomi Says:

    Yeah, I hate weeds last year all of my herbs were overtaken by ragweed and it ended up killing everything. This year I’m starting from scratch… again.

  16. Simon Says:

    I have spent hours pulling up couch grass. The plot was a meadow until we started working it, so we’ve been tackling docks, dandelions, nettles, bind weed and the rest but by far the worst is the couch grass. It’s like sticking a fork into underground spaghetti. An it doesn’t die when you pull it out unless you drown it in a bucket of stagnant water for six weeks. And that stinks but seems to be okay diluted on the plants.
    Also I had a lone thistle this morning from absolutely nowhere right between the goji bushes. Still, better that than couch grass.

  17. Rampant_Weasel Says:

    how about another soilman how to video, on weeding?
    if you have so many it could be the ideal time.
    just a thought….

  18. Soilman Says:

    Not a bad idea, Rampant_Weasel, but I just can’t find time at the moment. Lots and lots going on in my life. I will definitely make more videos next season.

  19. Sarah Says:

    I’m right with Simon on the hate for the couch grass! Years and years I’ve spent digging and pulling the damm stuff, it just wont die 🙁

  20. Damo Says:

    Ah just come in from an hours weeding so know what you mean. Seem to be getting a fair few nettles sprouting from the chicken manure.