A perfect beetroot amid the insanity

beetrootSo the world financial system is about to crash around our ears, and London is burning.

The perfect time, then, to report that I’ve grown a heart-shaped beetroot.

So that’s nice.

PS (And you just knew I wouldn’t be able to resist, didn’t you?) To my non-UK readers, who are probably aghast and amazed that such things can happen in frightfully ‘nice’ and civilised Britain: Here’s an explanation.

Britain is a rioting nation. Is now, always has been. The cause and the ‘answer’ are the same they’ve always been: the have-nots are fed up with their ‘have-not’ status and the enormous disparity between them and the ‘haves’ (the gap’s been growing for about 25 years).

This will play out the way it always plays out. First, we’ll get on top of it – because of course the law-abiders and taxpayers are the majority, we have the money and we have the material/manpower. Then there will be enquiries and reviews and reports – as usual. They’ll say what they always say: That these luckless, under-privileged people are mistreated and deserve more.

Then we’ll do what we always do: Bribe them with more state handouts and more community support and more locally manufactured ‘jobs’ (in truth, state sinecures paid from taxation) and more ‘stuff’ to enable them to live the way they want. And when we’ve forgotten to do that again, in about 15-20 years, they’ll give up their favourite post-modernist tactic – moral blackmail – and resort, again, to burning down our cities until we re-bribe them.

Naturally, we’d prefer to give them fishing rods, not fish. But a) we’re too mean to spend the money and make the effort required to properly educate and assimilate them, and b) they’re too debased and feral to respond to education and opportunities anyway. They prefer the bribes.

So bribery it is.

This is how Britain works. It is one of our little eccentricities. In less fortunate nations, which can’t afford to bribe their underclass, these people are starved routinely and shot when they get out of hand.

But here in the UK, we don’t like that. It’s messy and well, just not cricket.

12 Responses to “A perfect beetroot amid the insanity”

  1. glittertrash Says:

    It’s a very nice beetroot, Soilman, and perfectly timed.

  2. Julie Says:

    There is just nothing else to say as you’ve said it all…..lovely beetroot.

  3. Kath Says:

    From over the pond, and yes, I’ve visited England more than once. I’m not surprised…I’m more surprised it doesn’t happen more often. IMHO, England still has a class society and in a country so small things are bound to get out of hand. You know first hand how uppity the lower classes can be…

    Not to say we don’t have our own problems here…we just use state sponsored welfare to keep them quiet and at a subsistance level. If we actually paid to educate people or gave them enough of a living wage to allow them breathing room they’d only waste it on drugs. And just think of all the people who would be scamming the government who are perfectly able to work, but are just to lazy. After all according to the Repbulicans; welfare mothers should work and working mothers should stay at home and take care of their children.

    And so it goes….

  4. Mal Says:

    More Beetroot!

  5. carrie Says:

    Ahhh a hearty beetroot always calms the soul – thank you Soilman xxx

  6. Tom Says:

    Soilman you will just have to copyright the expression ‘make beetroot not war.’

  7. Freelance Unbound Says:

    As in Iraq in 2003, when the Americans sat back and watched the Iraqis looting “liberated” Baghdad and then had to live with years of insurgency, the police sat back on the first night and watched feral youths looting and destroying and then had to deal with days of copycat mayhem.

    Because, of course, if you send a message that “we’re not actually going to do anything and you’ll get away with it”, people will respond accordingly.

    Nice beetroot though. It shows you are middle class and responsible enough to bleed the money to “solve” all this…

  8. Simon Says:

    Looks to me like you spend too long looking after that perfect lawn. Maybe if you plowed it up you could get in another row of beetroot and save on mowing time.

  9. Soilman Says:

    FU: You are of course right. Folks loot, police watch = a recipe for a lot more looting.

    As somebody wrote in a UK newspaper recently, public order rests upon a confidence trick: the notion that the police are watching and will catch you if you commit a crime.

    Provided only a few people at a time are committing crimes, the illusion can be maintained. But when lots of people commit crimes at the same time, there’s no society on earth has enough police to stop them. Only men with firearms – in large numbers – stand any chance.

    This week, the kind of people who are only deterred from crime by the fear of getting caught (and there’s a lot of them) called society’s bluff – and exposed the illusion for what it is.

    Had the police intervened in numbers quicker and harder… well, you’ve got to doubt it would have come to this.

    And now, we have a worse situation. The criminals know how thin that thin blue line really is.

    So what happens when the current police ‘surge’ has to stop? When all those cops from out of town must go back whence they came?

  10. Tanya Walton Says:

    It is a great beetroot!!!

  11. vince Says:

    Soilman, great blog and that was a hysterical article (the style and comment not necessarily the subject). My buddy posted your blog – we are cops in Los Angeles – and said it was informative and clever. Yes to both. We have experienced our share of unrest out here and you are correct: hit the problem hard and early or else the oppotunists will come out of the woodwork to loot. Anonymity is the cloak of the coward. Unfortunately it’s the price we all pay for free and civil societies – but great blog and great beetroot!

  12. maureen Says:

    Ha Ha ha you are so funny and never fail to make me smile(and chuckle) and your betroot is amazing.
    Have a good week