Politicians: Lying bastards because they HAVE to be

“Disgruntled, disillusioned and disengaged” – that’s the UK population’s attitude to politics, according to a survey published today.

No surprises there. Even the most moronic UK citizen has begun to notice that whomever we elect, nothing changes. We get the same attitudes, the same assumptions and the same basic policies regardless who’s in power. It’s a phenomenon that began in about 1986 and has gathered steam ever since.

Reflecting on this today, I wondered what a different politics would look like: an honest politics.

God knows, I’m no fan of politicians, but I do sympathise with their basic dilemma: If they told us the truth about the state of our nation, and what they intend to do, we’d never elect them. When they don’t (because they can’t), we accuse them of lying and become ‘disillusioned, disgruntled”…. etc.

You’re going to be poorer and pay more tax – much more tax

Here’s the ‘truth’ manifesto for any politician standing for election in the UK today:

  • We’re going to tax the hell out of you. No choice, pal: the government’s bust.
  • You’re gonna see a shit load of colleagues, friends and family lose their jobs. If you’re ‘lucky’ enough to keep yours, you’ll be paying for them – cos the state can’t afford to.
  • See above. The welfare benefits you’ve taken for granted all these years are on the way out. Enjoy what’s left of ’em while you can.
  • Your costs are gonna soar. Fuel, basic foodstuffs, you name it… it’s all getting pricier.
  • It’s very likely that you’ll die in poverty: Pensions are utterly fucked and getting more fucked as people live longer. Plus any savings you’ve put away are going to be destroyed by inflation. Why? Because inflation’s the least painful option for reducing our debt mountain. In the end, it’s the only possible ‘solution’.
  • The ‘end of the recession’ is a fairy tale to keep your spirits up. There won’t be an ‘end’ to this recession: it’s the beginning of the end of western dominance. To compete with the emerging economies, we’re going to have to permanently pare back our expectations and our living standards. Deal with it.
  • Your children are going to be significantly poorer than you. Deal with that, too.

Not a vote-winner, is it? But it’s the truth.

Remember that next time you’re slagging off a politician for being a slimy, lying sonofabitch. All he did, when you elected him, was tell you what you want to hear.

3 Responses to “Politicians: Lying bastards because they HAVE to be”

  1. The Idiot Gardener Says:

    I think the answer is obvious, but no one wants to address it. We have too many people and not enough resources. If a business struggles to make money because of overheads, it makes cuts. That’s all we’re doing. However, maybe we should cut people rather than funding.

    We could start with criminals. Anyone facing over ten years inside should be given the Black Capsule. This would save on resources, and cut some of the welfare and pension burden. It would also taxes to be spent on something other than carpets for killers!

    Next we could go after people that wee on the seats in public toilets, or that wee in the corners of car parks. We could also force those who work in shops but ask customers the price of goods when they’re not priced to take the medicine. Then those who let their dogs shit on the pavement and don’t pick it up.

    We could filter out those to get rid of at supermarkets.
    “I see you’re buying the frozen chicken nuggets today. Please go through the red door to claim a special prize”.
    “Oh, you’ve bought waffly versatile potato waffles, have you? Please report to the nice man over there with the white coat”.

    As the population decreases, so valuable resources would be saved, and those who remain could get on with their work without Doreen from Sales asking how to do her job every 10 minutes. This would boost productivity, thus giving the economy a much needed shot in the arm.

    We’d all get richer, and as a result we could expand, annexing the Euro zone and using their populations as slave labour – without benefits or wages of course – to further grow our Empire until we ruled the waves!

    It could just happen!

  2. Tom Says:

    Sometimes you hear that population isn’t the problem: it’s distribution. Or it’s over-consumption and population. There was iniquity aplenty when population wasn’t the problem. How we reconstruct the ship we’re sailing in is always the problem.

    “And when finally the bottom fell out
    I became withdrawn
    The only thing I knew how to do
    Was to keep on keeping on like a bird that flew
    Tangled up in blue.”

  3. Carrie Says:

    yep 🙂 The more people realise it the better, though living in Northern Ireland my whole life I never really trusted anything they said anyway.
    I’m not having kids!!! So sod them, hahahaha
    Thanks for your comment xx