I’m a journalist and vegetable growing enthusiast. So it seemed smart to combine the two in an online journal about… vegetable growing. On an allotment in the south-east of the United Kingdom.

My self-imposed blogging rules:

• Ruthless honesty. If anything fails, you’ll know about it. No lies, evasions or euphemisms. Same with successes. I’ll crow until you want to hit me with a brick.

• No bullshit. I tell it like it is, in robust anglo-saxon. If profanity offends, go elsewhere.

• I like to laugh at myself. If I start taking myself too seriously, for God’s sake tell me. Please.

Site rules:

• If you want to comment, PLEASE DO. Try to be informative, or amusing. If you can’t manage that, at least be nice. To other commenters, anyway. You can say what you like to me.

• If you think I can help with your vegetable growing, you clearly have no idea how shit I am. BUT, if you’re very, very desperate – do feel free to drop me a line. I promise I will always reply to those in need of vegetable growing help.