Small is hardly beautiful in the vegetable world, but this year it’s the best I’m going to get… so I’m bloody thrilled.
In the midst of the July heatwave, I was convinced my cauliflowers were going to die or produce mini-heads. To my own utter astonishment, they’re now starting to head. Er, not lavishly. But still.
So my habitual pessimism has served me poorly this year. Despite everything the weather has thrown at my vegetables, and despite a distinct want of effort on my part, I’ve had no outright crop failures (unless you count a row of carrots so small they looked like those mini toothbrushes you get on long-haul flights).
Gardening’s a bit like corporate advertising: You know that 50% of it will be ineffective. You just don’t know which 50%.
Every year I try to grow and plant out the broadest range of vegetables I can, in the full and certain knowledge that some (many?) won’t ultimately produce much, if any, food. Some will be an utter write-off.
Why waste so much time and effort?
Because in the UK, the weather is so fucking unpredictable. It can be freezing cold and wet, freezing cold and dry, hot and wet, hot and dry, hot/cold/wet/windy/dry and Christ alone knows what else.
Result: there is no such thing as a season that suits every vegetable. So some thrive, and some die – you just don’t know, in April, which will be which.
Come June, though, the clues are mounting up. And I reckon these cauliflowers are doomed. I got them in late, they struggled to get going, and now we’re getting some seriously hot and dry weather – the conditions they loathe most.
Incredible: June 9th and I’ve STILL not got my first tranche of cauliflowers out on the plot.
Honestly, this year’s been crap. I’ve had a difficult time lately for other reasons, but the running regime is one of the main culprits. Finding the time to cultivate a full allotment AND run 15 miles a week is proving challenging.
Anyone even further behind than me? Please, please say. You’ll make me feel so much better.
Now the mad time is starting. I’ve got seedlings stuffed into every nook and cranny of the house. There’s even more under plastic outside. I’m gagging to get them all planted out, but daren’t: it’s not frost safe for another month yet.
It’s already turning into a very peculiar growing year. My cauliflower seedlings have grown more slowly than I’ve ever known – the ones above were sown in early March, but still have only two true leaves. Quite extraordinary.
In other news, my potatoes are also coming through spectacularly slowly. Looks like patience is going to be the watchword for 2010… which is dispiriting news, because I have BUGGER ALL PATIENCE.
Wretched pigeons. These were meant to be my autumn cauliflowers.
I had a few heads from them, so it’s not a dead loss, but the rest started to go to seed (I’ve not been to the plot much) and the pigeons were able to reach through the net to pull them up.
Irritating, but there it is.
D-Day for digging and manuring rapidly approaches. I’m praying the weather is dry this weekend, because I need to make up some time fast.
These were my overwintering cauliflowers. I left them on the patio floor, by mistake, for just one night. Too late to sow any more, so no Spring cauliflowers next year.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
The fat, smug, belching sonofabitch you see in this picture has departed this life. Naturally, I tortured it first.
Thick and fast now, thick and fast. It’s all going crazy.
We have Ratte potatoes, Orla potatoes, All-the-year-round cauliflowers, Early Nantes carrots, Bolthardy beetroot and Russian courgette/squash hybrids (don’t know what these are called in English, but they’re known as ‘Kobachok’ in Russian).
The missus and I are stuffed to the gills with veg every night.
The latest in my ‘how to’ video series focusses on brassicas… specifically cabbages and cauliflowers, and how to grow decent ones. As always, apologies to anyone who’s an expert already. Do tell me about any hot tips of your own for brassica success.
Small is hardly beautiful in the vegetable world, but this year it’s the best I’m going to get… so I’m bloody thrilled.
