Tuta Absoluta sounds like an Austin Powers love interest, but it’s clearly going to be yet another source of heartbreak for the tomato grower.

I’ve already given up growing tomatoes on my allotment – blight strikes down everyone’s crop every year. Now I’m thinking twice about growing them at home, too.

Anyone actually encountered this problem where you grow? Just how bad is it?

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

These were my overwintering cauliflowers.  I left them on the patio floor, by mistake, for just one night. Too late to sow any more, so no Spring cauliflowers next year.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

The fat, smug, belching sonofabitch you see in this picture has departed this life. Naturally, I tortured it first.

I don’t get much grief from asparagus beetle. They get squashed, with maximum prejudice, when I spot them. But it’s rare, and they do very little damage to my plants.

They do, however, lay their eggs on my supper. I’m sure they’re fine to eat, but I do find myself assiduously scraping them off. It’s the thought, you see: creepy-crawly eggs. Yikes. I’m a non-celebrity allotmenteer – get me out of here!

Wretched nibblers. They’ve moved from the decimated beetroot to the carrots.

Rats and/or mice are still the main suspects. Rabbits would have eaten the greenery, too.

It’s all very tiresome. My allotment isn’t meant to be a rodent welfare/drop-in centre. It never has been before. Whence this vexing rodent glut?

I have a whole new row of these ready, and I was looking forward to harvesting them… when I found this. On every bloody plant.

I suspect mice. The tiny teeth marks are fairly diagnostic.

I could weep. This season is my worst ever. I’ve never had such a poor harvest and/or such rapacious weeds.