Bramble bonfire

Burning bramble rootsHere’s the fire I made of the bramble roots from just 4 sq m of my new allotment empire.

Burn, you bastards, burn!

Broken forkProgress on digging it has been snail-like. Not to mention expensive; I got a bit ambitious with one particularly stubborn bramble root and broke my wretched fork.

My feelings are best expressed by the slogan a Norfolk grass turf company used to have written on its lorries:

“If you can’t seed it, sod it.”

Posted on 3rd April 2009
Under: Rants | 3 Comments »

Digging brambles

Bramble roots More bramble roots

Took advantage of the sensational weather on Sunday to start digging my new land.

Almost immediately wished I hadn’t. God, in His infinite wisdom, has chosen to bless me with ground that’s heaving with bramble roots as thick as your thumb. And the ‘soil’ is basically compacted clay. The kind that forces you to sit on the spade handle to lever it up.

I collapsed, utterly shagged out, after just an hour. At this rate, I’ll be turning the last clod when the first ice crystals form on the innermost circle of Hell.

Posted on 17th March 2009
Under: Spring, Weeds | 20 Comments »

The new plots

The new allotments

Looks pretty rough now. But this grotty, excavated terrain is due to host another 30-odd allotments.

All very exciting. But they’d better mark out the plots and get them allocated quickly; those bramble roots will be regrouping as I write…

Posted on 10th November 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Clearing the bush for new allotments

Changing the allotmentAstonishing. Our allotment site is becoming posh!

Half the site’s always been unused and covered in brambles. Which was a pain, because they provided shelter for the rats and encroached on our plots all the time.

But no more. Apparently there are 60 people on our allotment waiting list. So the brambles are coming down.

It’s great. We’re going to get properly measured plots (gosh), proper roadways for cars (wow)… even a car park (gasp).

It’s all super. Except, of course, that most of those 60 wannabes won’t be here in 12 months. Nor will their replacements. Allotmenteering is harder than most folks realise.

And then the brambles will be back, I guess.

Posted on 4th November 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Reclaiming the plot

Overgrown plot

Responding to Pumpkin Soup’s invitation to ‘fess up, here is my own embarrassing little secret: The horribly overgrown rear of my allotment.

Shamefully, this is the same area I cleared of weeds back in July. I got lazy and it went native… again. Only this time, the brambles got involved as well as the couch grass.

Result: Pure hell. Spent yesterday clearing it and am now scratched to hell by thorns.

What a misery this ‘summer’ has been.

Posted on 15th September 2008
Under: Weeds | 4 Comments »