Back in the shit

Er… hello? Is there anyone there?

Sorry. Haven’t been here for a while. Ahem. Life got on top of me, rather. Too much to do, too little time. It happens.

New year’s resolution: Less waffling, less ranting, more gardening. Goddammit. And you can quote me on that when I next go off on one.

Today’s back-to-the-plot task was emptying the compost bin and spreading manure and compost on the plot. I love doing this. It’s hard work, but that earthy smell of shit and fresh compost (year-old vintage) is wildly stimulating. Makes me think of all the fantastic vegetables I’ll be growing later in the year.

It’s not far off now. The grim short days are lengthening, and soon I’ll be moaning about running out of time. Actually, who needs ‘soon’? I am running out of time. Curses.

Posted on 7th January 2012
Under: Winter | 9 Comments »

Earth has not anything to show more fair

Manure dug into the earth

“Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty”

Call me a dreamer. Call me a sadster. Tell me I need to get out more.

But hey, really. Is there anything more gorgeous than a neatly trimmed, manured, freshly dug vegetable plot?

Posted on 6th February 2010
Under: Winter | 15 Comments »

Manuring and digging

Full plotGetting there. I’m still weeks behind, but hey. Nobody’s perfect.

Given a few dry weekends, I should be able to sort the digging and manuring by the end of January. The biggest challenge now is finding room for another compost heap. My bin’s stuffed.

Anyone out there able to put their hand on their heart and say they’re fully ready for next season?

Posted on 10th December 2009
Under: Winter | 5 Comments »

Clearing up this year’s corn

Old sweetcorn stalksI was digging like a Terminator on Sunday. Managed to get most of this year’s sweetcorn on the compost and even spread a bit more horse shit.

Grim job, though. Back hurts, arse hurts, arms hurt, legs hurt. Had blisters the size of Flying Saucers (remember them?!) when I’d finished.

More of the same come the weekend. It’s so important to have something nice to look forward to, don’t you find?

Posted on 17th November 2009
Under: Sweetcorn, Winter | 2 Comments »

Muck spreading

Allotment with manureDoesn’t look much, does it?


As predicted, I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped. Surprise. Even so this represents three hard hours of work; had to pull out mountains of weeds before I could dig it over and spread manure.

Only another 10 or so days like that, and I’ll be done.

Marvellous. Can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it.

Posted on 7th November 2009
Under: Winter | 12 Comments »

Liquid chicken manure: Yum, yum

Liquid chicken manureI love the smell of manure in the morning.

But, er, I may pass on this – chicken shit that’s liquefied after storage in a plastic bag for a year. Lovely.

Pongs a bit, no question. But it’s fantastic for getting your compost going. Once this has seeped in and done its bit, the heap will warm up and start working again after a long, cold winter.

Posted on 3rd March 2009
Under: Spring, Winter | 8 Comments »

Ode to autumn

Full allotment

Well, I’m getting there. Autumn digging is well advanced.

It’s a bad time for my morale as daylight hours progressively shrink. On the other hand, there are wonderful smells at this time of year that occur at no other.

I love being out on the allotment on a windless, warm, dank, misty autumn day. That fusty, foggy smell of mouldy leaves and damp earth is gorgeous. And unique to October/early November.

Best of all, though, is the heady aroma of rotting horse manure. I dig it and… dig it.

Yeah, baby.

Posted on 15th October 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Back in the shit

Manuring the beds It’s that time of year again. From now until Christmas, I’ll be pretty much covered in horseshit 24/7.

I try to ensure it stays on the allotment. But I daren’t carry passengers in the car during autumn, and I’m ashamed to admit that my bella figura at work has occasionally been compromised by an all-too-visible dangleberry clinging to my shirt.

Were I to wear my underpants outside my trousers and adopt a brown cape, I could slide seamlessly into an alter ego: ManureMan.

Posted on 25th September 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »